"Prepare for what? Don't you just follow the book??"Yep, and the first 40 pages are all about preparing yourself. Have you ever gone into a project completely unprepared? I sure have and when I do, I usually fall flat on my you-know-what.
The first chapter of The Husband Project is titled "Laying a Foundation: Preparing for The Husband Project". Kathi does a great job of explaining The Husband Project - what it is and why it works. Some of the key points to remember are:
- It usually takes 21 days to really develop a habit so The Husband Project is 21 days long. Of course, sometimes, you may be able to do more than one project a day. Other times, it may take a few days to complete one project. The important thing is not to rush the projects or feel like a failure if you go off course. Just start up right where you left off.
- Keep the project a secret. This is one of those 'good' secrets that you should keep from your husband. This is not something that you should feel forced to do and if you tell your husband, you may feel as if you HAVE to do this project or that you are being graded on every project. Plus, doesn't it feel great to do something nice for someone when they have have no idea you were planning it?
- Get your friends involved. Just because you can't tell your husband about the project, doesn't mean you can't tell your friends. Find a few friends to join you in The Husband Project. This will make it much more fun, plus provide some accountability for all of you.
- It won't always be smooth sailing. You may have an argument one day, or he may be out of town for a couple days. Maybe you are just completely worn out from working all day, taking care of the kids, and cleaning. Something will always come up. Just remember that you can't control anyone else's reactions, but you can control your own. If you do miss a project, don't beat yourself up. Just start again the next day.
- Don't get stuck in the "It's Not Fair" rut. Oh boy, am I guilty of this one! I have my own business and work from home so I sometimes feel like I never really get that 'break' away from the house, chores, and kids like my husband does when he goes to work. He also has his own business and, just like most small business owners, works A LOT and usually goes to work very early and gets home pretty late. I was pretty much making him play catch up when he'd get home. I'd hand him our son and head to the office to try to get some of my own work done. I would think, "I do so much around here and all I ask him to do is take out the trash. He can't even do that!" When in reality, he does so much more than I give him credit for. Plus, one of our agreements when we were discussing whether or not I should stay at home was that I would take over many of the household responsiblities.