Notice the Great Things He Does
Your project for today is to tell your husband something about him that you think is simply great. Take a second and think about how frustrated we can get when our husbands don't notice our efforts. Organized the closet? I bet your husband didn't even take a second glance. New haircut? How long did it take your husband to say something, if he even noticed at all?
Now, think about the last time your husband mowed the lawn, took out the trash or unclogged the bathtub. Did you thank him or were you just annoyed that it took him so long to get it done? I was definitely the latter. Sure, these are things that you may expect him to do, but I'm sure he'd still like some sort of recognition. I love what Kathi said,
"...here's the thing. When you begin telling your husband how great he is, it raises his bar internally. Men, in every area of their lives, want to live up to the standard that has been set for them. He starts to see himself in a different light - not as the guy who is constantly missing the mark, but the one who surprises himself, and the people around him, with how capable he is."
This whole idea may be new to you and could be sort of awkward at first. That's okay, just start small. Compliment him on something simple, like taking out the trash or unloading the dishwasher. You might have some of those, "it's not fair" thoughts creeping into your head. After all, isn't it his job to help around the house too? Okay, but don't you like to feel appreciated for the all of the things that you do? You may just be surprised when you start getting compliments from your husband. Remember, it's hard to hand out compliments when you're not receiving them.
Not sure where to start? Kathi gives us a few ideas to focus on:
- Providing for your family (even if you're both working)
- His faithfulness to you
- His leadership in your home
- His parenting abilities
- How he makes you feel about yourself
- His provision of security in your home
Some other great ideas Kathi has include keeping pen and paper nearby and writing down your husband's great qualities as they come to mind and asking others to help come up with all of the great things your man does.
This was another project that made my husband take a step back. When you normally hear your wife nagging at you to get something done and then all of a sudden she's complimenting you, I'm sure it could be a little unnerving. Since starting this project, I've started noticing so many more things that make my husband a great man and I've been on the receiving end of the compliments too! I think by acknowledging all of the great things he does for our family, it has made him realize how hard I work too.
Our next project is Project 13: Turning Your Thoughts toward Him